I haven’t written in such a long time because I no longer have different and interesting things to report about. My life has become normal and ordinary and I am not experiencing anything new anymore; I am just living it. And I felt that it would be like writing about my everyday life in America and this is one of the reasons why I just dropped off the face of the earth. Sorry guys.
But now, I have about 2 weeks left in Syria and I have so many mixed feelings. But before I explain how I’m feeling now, let me give a quick recap of the past couple of months.
First off, it is EXTREMELY difficult for a single Western woman to live here alone. It is one of the most difficult things to do, especially if one doesn’t know the language very well. Even though Syria is one of the few Arab countries that allows women the most freedoms, it is still very much a male-dominated society. And if you will allow me to be very real, this is a sex-starved nation and when they see Western women, they perceive them as being easy and sex-addicts because their only perception of Western women is from movies (mostly American) and then from the European women who come here and solidify the stereotype. Sorry Europe, but it’s true. And this perception does not change because it is very difficult and expensive for Syrians to travel to Europe or America and they never get a chance to see with their own eyes. So when normal Western women come here and try to walk down the streets, it’s so difficult. The only time that I don’t have ANY trouble is when I’m walking with Syrian men. Sad, but true. And this is the only place that I have actually been grabbed by men just walking down the streets.
When I was trying to do things on my own, it was very difficult and I wasn’t enjoying my time here. And I was constantly fighting against the culture. But slowly, over time, I started to become dear friends with a certain group of Syrians (ok, so they’re all guys, but whatcha gonna do?) and slowly, I was accepted into their circle. I cannot tell you how much this helped me and increased my happiness and decreased my stress. I was actually able to enjoy my time here and smile and laugh and not worry anymore about being taken advantage of. These group of guys have actually become very close and dear to my heart now and I consider them my family here.
But at the same time, being in the Old City has it’s downfalls and dark sides. There is definitely a very big underground network here run by a handful of certain Arab men who rent out old Arabic homes to foreigners. And along with that comes the partying and women and sex. Being here now for 6 months and interacting with these guys, I know exactly who is good and genuine and who to stay far, far away from. Life here in the Old City doesn’t really change. And the people never really leave it. So whenever there are any new foreigners, especially women, the guys try with all their might to win them over. This surge of energy lasts for maybe a few days until the newness wears off and then everything goes back to normal. Well sometimes this causes tension and problems because there are two different paradigms clashing against each other and the Arab guys end up either “fishing” the girl or making another enemy and totally pissing off the woman. This causes a lot of frustration for the guys who have more of a Western mentality and who are really truly looking for a serious relationship because this “fishing” creates the stereotype that all the guys here are only looking for sex.
I am so fortunate to have quality friends who look out for me, but most girls aren’t that lucky. A lot of problems here aren’t even caused by what someone does, but by what they don’t do, which is totally backwards in my mind. Arabs are probably the most generous and friendly people that I’ve encountered, but they are also the most easily offended people. And when the Western mentality meets the Eastern mentality, it’s very easy to have cultural misunderstandings and arguments over something that never had to be an issue.
So that’s the recap in “about” a nutshell. Life is pretty good now. I am taking private lessons from my friend who is an English and Arabic teacher at Damascus University. For my last month here, I no longer wanted to be bound to the daily stress of commuting 2 hours every day to uni and having 4 hours of class only to be bored and frustrated because the class is next to impossible due to the amount of content in such a short time. I wanted to enjoy my last month here. So now, I wake up, drink tea, study a little, have my lesson, eat, go walk around, drink some more tea, go to a café and watch people, visit friends or have them come to our house, hang out on the roof of our house, or go out with my Western friends and drink more tea. It’s such a nice, slow, lazy life and I LOVE IT! It’s refreshing not to be bound by the constricts of time that the West is so accustomed to. I never plan my day, I just let it happen and it always seems to fill up. And plus it’s been so dang hot here…maybe in the 90’s every day…so this combined with the lack of time = NO WORK EVER GETS DONE HERE!
There was definitely a point in time about 2 months ago where I had hit rock bottom and when I actually moved my ticket from the end of July to the end of June because I couldn’t take it any more. I had had it with everything and I was so stressed and frustrated. But now, if I had to stay here another 6 months, I think I could do it. But then I don’t really want to stay here any longer, but at the same time I do. Because now, I actually understand the majority of conversations (even without translating in my head) and I am actually able to hold solid conversations with the locals who don’t speak any English and I’m able to express my personality in Arabic, which for me, is the best feeling in the world! It’s so cool! I finally feel like I’m on my way to becoming better and more fluent, but at the same time, this momentum will be killed because I’m leaving in 2 weeks. So it’s like a double-edged sword. As beautiful as my time has been here these past couple of months, it’s time to come home. I will never, ever forget my time or my dear Syrian friends here. And I know that I will come back for sure.

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